What do we leave behind us?
I’m not talking about leftover food or dirty laundry. I mean what happens when we’re gone?
20 years ago, if I died unexpectedly, the things I left behind would have been quite different than today. I would have left behind scribbles and scraps and other people’s memories. Old term papers. Half finished diaries filled with teenage angst. Tiny, poorly focused snapshots. Someone else’s stories about me. Signatures on office documents. Everything I left was either meant for a purpose outside of my own story or never meant for other eyes. The picture of me would have been only through cobbled together images and words, eventually forgotten. Wisps of stories, memories left in time.
Now? Piles upon piles of digital trails. Tweet streams and Facebook feeds. Blog posts, Instagram photos, forum conversations and/or arguments. Tracks left behind me, tracing every step. With every tweet or comment, we write what we are going to leave behind us. Because we most assuredly will leave it behind.
All this technology has created a wealth of stories, stories we never would have found 20 years ago. Stories that make us laugh or cry or catch our breath. Words that teach us and surprise us and make us better people.
We leave traces behind every moment. We get to write our own legacies, even though with every day and every tweet and every throwaway glib comment, that’s not what we think we’re doing. But in the end, it is. In some ways, it’s all we’re doing.
What we’ve left is what we’ve chosen to put out there. What have you chosen?
Think about it. Really think about it. If you are gone tomorrow, or even in 20 years, what are you writing or doing or publishing today? Someday, someone will read it. What will they learn about you?
I never met Amanda. I didn’t even follow her until it was too late. Which teaches me: Pay more attention.
I debated whether to make this video and debated more whether to post it. It’s not my story to tell, and I don’t know if Amanda would have wanted it told this way. But ultimately, I’ve chosen to publish it as a tribute to her, and a reminder to all of us: sometime, we will leave it behind.
I have attempted to find Amanda’s full name in order to contact her family to let them know about this project. I have been unable to find any further information. If you have any information on Amanda, please leave me a comment or contact me at zchamu at gmail.
I want to thank Amanda for sharing her story with us. I’m just the messenger.
Music: Let Her Go by Passenger. Tweets: Amanda @TrappedAtMyDesk. Originally shown at @BlissDomCanada.
My challenge to you for 2014: Look at what you’ve left behind. What is your legacy?
UPDATE January 17, 2014.
Wow. I wasn’t expecting that.
Thank you to everyone who viewed and shared the video. I hope that you have a chance to pause and reflect and send good wishes out there to Amanda and those she left behind.
I assembled this because I thought it was a lovely, touching story of a life lost too soon. I thought it was a good message, to be conscious of what you leave behind you and to live life to the fullest. I shared it at BlissDom Canada and with some folks I knew and when I posted it here I thought maybe some Ottawa people who had interacted with her would share it. I was not expecting Jezebel or Buzzfeed or The Star or the Ottawa Citizen or Reddit or anywhere else that’s posted it.
Amanda’s story has obviously stuck with others as it did with me.
To answer a few questions:
I have not heard from her family. I would still like to do so. If I do hear from them, I will proceed according to their wishes.
Because I have not heard from them, I’d like to ask anyone looking for Amanda’s family or any information on her to please proceed sensitively. This is a story of a woman who died, after all, and those left behind her are grieving. Please, if you do find anyone connected to Amanda, please treat them with kindness and sensitivity and proceed according to their wishes.
I have had many people ask me if this is real or if I think it may be a hoax account. The answer is that I believe it is real, for many reasons, otherwise I never would have assembled the video. Sure, it’s possible it’s a fake, but I don’t think so.
Be good to each other.
{ 55 comments… read them below or add one }
Thank you for this. I try to be conscious of what I’m saying and sharing but probably more on Facebook than on other forms of social media. I needed this reminder.
Sassymonkey recently posted..Meal Plan Monday January 6
This is sad and beautiful and jarring. I started stumbling and tweeting funny or beautiful things on weekday mornings a while back because I wanted to see and share more beautiful things. I was worried I wasn’t focusing on beautiful things.
I love that Amanda went on a trip and saw beautiful things.
Rita Arens recently posted..Book Marketing Tests: BookGorilla & Riffle Select
Holy hell. Thanks for this Shannon. And thank you to Amanda.
Denise recently posted..Buster Needs a Water Table
Thank you for sharing this story, for making us pause and think.
Thank you for sharing Amanda with us.
Jenna recently posted..The Cold Never Bothered Me Anyway
Even though I knew the inevitable ending, it still hit me like a ton of bricks to read the last tweet. Thanks for sharing Amanda’s story.
Thank you for putting this together. It’s touching, beautiful, and heartbreaking. It’s a good reminder that life is short. May she rest in peace and may her heaven be filled with all things goth.
This is really beautiful, and special. Getting to know someone through their tweets. That’s a real and proper use of social media.
Crying. We have close friends who have lost two (Two!) people close to them because of brain cancer. Thanks, Shannon. I hope you find her family.
Angella recently posted..January Blahs
Beautiful.
This is so lovely and sad and thought provoking.
Just as powerful as when you said you wanted to speak on the subject at BDC13. #snotbubbles
Shash recently posted..It’s not how much we give but how much love we put into giving!
Beautiful. Haunting. I hope her family sees this and knows that she still lives on through the magic of the internet and everything she left behind.
Tanis Miller recently posted..Starvation By Shoe
Shivers.
It gave me shivers and tears. Thank you for sharing. Thank you for getting me thinking.
Crystal recently posted..Too Much Baby Advice
* goosebumps * Thank you for creating and sharing this. It’s beautiful and definitely inspiring.
Sad. Beautiful. Thanks for the reminder to pay attention, Shannon.
Mel Gallant recently posted..9 things that gross me the hell out
I am so glad that you have shared this Shannon. It haunted me after I saw it last fall at BlissdomCanada and made me more aware of my own digital trail. Thank you, SO much.
Dang you, woman. Started my morning sobbing because of you. Beautiful.
Suebob recently posted..One of Ours
Wow, this is incredible and haunting. Thank you for stopping to listen … and creating and sharing with us. It is a reminder for all of us.
Rossana recently posted..Gluten Free vacation with @GlobalResorts #Globalresorthomes
Great post and tribute. Off to have a coffee and do some thinking….
What a beautiful tribute. I hope her family finds this post…
What I love is that she left her iPhone on the table when she left for her adventures. She wasn’t ultimately tweeting it or face booking it, she was living it.
Note to Self.
Wow! What a powerful reminder. We’re telling our youth they should be careful what they post now because it could affect their adulthood. But really we should be telling everyone to watch what they post ALL. THE. TIME. Because now it truly is your legacy. Great video, great post.
Tabitha P recently posted..A Story by Siri – #WordlessWednesday
Shannon this has left me speachless and teary. I so think that this is one of those post that will stay with me forever. The message is just so powerful.
Doing the ugly cry. Beautiful.
A beautiful tribute to this woman - she was so much stronger than most of us could ever hope to be. I hope you find her family - and I would love to know if she spoke to her Mom that night. Thank you for sharing.
I was in tears when I first saw this video at Blissdom Canada. I’m glad to see it getting more attention on the Internet this week. Something for everyone to think about.
Annie @ PhD in Parenting recently posted..Introducing Allergens to Infants and Preventing Allergies: New Recommendations and Thoughts
Wow…so moving. What an amazing tribute. I hope you do have the change to talk to her family… Thanks for sharing
I was profoundly moved by the video and have been thinking about Amanda all day over here in Belgium. I’ve been reflecting on what she wrote, “forgive people…life is too short…”
I’m so glad that you made this video and posted it. That was absolutely beautiful! Thank you Shannon and Amanda! I’m going to write these quotes down and pin them on my wall and retweet them:
“Don’t spend time being angry at people. Forgive them. Life is entirely too short.”-Amanda
“Look at what you’ve left behind. What is your legacy?”-Shannon
“Pay more attention.”-Shannon
Diana recently posted..We Can Help!
My mom passed away from cancer in May. It’s my birthday tomorrow. I won’t be able to work for the rest of the day, now.
Hi Shannon,
I just watched your incredibly moving video and I would love to speak with you for an article. I’m a reporter with Metro News Ottawa.
Thank you for your time,
Lucy
Came here because of the Buzzfeed article. What a touching thing to do. So moving and so beautiful. And so sad. I hope she had a good final call with her mom.
Thank you for writing this and making the video and I’m crying like a baby. I lost my wife of 34 years to the same disease in 2005. After her first surgery, she lost the use of her left side, so we weren’t able to travel that much. One day she told me that she wanted me to take her to some of her favorite places here on Long Island before she died. So of course I took her where ever she wanted to go. We went out to Montauk Point. I wheeled her up the the wall next to the ocean. She asked me point out where Block Island was and point out a few other places we had been to. She looked around for a few minutes and told me that she was ready to leave. Next we went to the Montauk Yacht Club. We spent a week there with our friends many times on vacation. I wheeled her to the boardwalk. She looked around and told me that she was ready to leave. I took her to other places but never spent more than a few minutes everywhere we went, except for a place nicknamed Lunch, where they have the best lobster rolls you’ll find anywhere.
One day after her second brain surgery, she asked me two questions. “Will I see Nana again?” I told her yes. Then she asked me, “Will I see Fritz again? Fritz was our first dog. Again I told her yes. Then she said “Oh good.” She never mentioned dying again. You see, I told her “Yes” because when I was wounded in Vietnam, I saw myself dead on the ground and went into the light. I knew other people that had similar experiences, so I knew she would see them in Heaven once again. http://my-vietnam-stories.blogspot.com/
Barbara fought it for 2 1/2 years and died at home surrounded by her family.
Tony Chliek recently posted..Chapter 1: Drafted - May 6, 1968
Holy mother of all that is good. I met her once. Didn’t know about this.
The tribute is beautiful, though.
Jeez, just checked. We are still following each other on Twitter.
Shaken.
Last year was such a difficult time for me and barely checked Twitter but now I wish I had had a chance to… I don’t know… make her smile or something.
claudia recently posted..As Luck Would Have It
Oh the glimpses that make up Twitter, both meaningful and otherwise.
I just discovered she and I follow on another, which may explain the vague memory of tweeting with her about shared frustrations at work and the skull cookies…
Had no idea she passed away. Absolutely loved the tribute, Shannon. Well done!
Don (@foodieprins) recently posted..Food, Wine and Generosity: Red and White for Harmony House, Pasta 101 for Parkdale Food Centre, and Giveaway
this is exactly why i tweet.
I don’t mean to be a Debbie Downer here, and yes it was a beautiful piece, but are you legally allowed to just copy and paste people’s Twitter feeds or things from their Facebook pages w/o permission from anyone? This actually freaks me out more than I found it touching. I lost my dad in August and would hate to think that someone could hijack his Facebook page and make it into an art piece. Just not right. Hope you have a good lawyer!
Nothing you post on the internet is private. If you wanted it to be private, then don’t put it out there. Obviously Amanda want people to read her story, or she wouldn’t have posted it online and only shared it with her family and friends verbally. That’s why i made my blogs and doing that made me so many good friends. Some I’ve met in person and others I only know them online, but they all mean a lot to me and have helped me trough some of the darkest days of my life.
Tony Chliek recently posted..Chapter 1: Drafted - May 6, 1968
Debbie Downer, if tweets were protected the controversial tweets made by politicians and celebrities would not be circulating the globe right now. If you don’t mean to be a Debbie Downer, why are you threatening someone you don’t know with a lawsuit about someone you obviously didn’t understand. Clearly this young woman would not want your hostility connected to her experience in any way and I do hope you consider deleting your comment.
I see no threat with a lawsuit. It was more of a question and concern, which Tony Chliek addressed. Please don’t make assumptions or speak for someone that can’t speak for themselves.
Thanks for taking the time to put that together. That was beautiful.
I had a friend pass away from brain cancer. I wrote about her in my commentluv link.
Stacy Claflin recently posted..The Story Behind My First Book Dedication
Heartbreaking! What a beautiful tribute!
Old School/New School Mom recently posted..America Doesn’t Want People to Have Babies
Well done, and thanks.
Pete recently posted..I suppose it is better than the Deliverance Duelling Banjos ringtone
Reminds me of this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XyCk2ygkqEU
Equally sad. You bring a good point of how much more we leave behind than the generation before us. In this analogue world I guess it’s easier to just bury and move on…
Beautiful and heartbreaking. Thank you for this <3
Rowena recently posted..My Anger Is A Burning Flame, That Will No Longer Be Contained.
Thanks for this..reminded me of Ecclesiaster 7:1-2
A good name* is better than good oil,+ and the day of death is better than the day of birth. 2 Better to go to the house of mourning than to the house of feasting,+ for that is the end of every man, and the living should take it to heart.
- http://www.jw.org/en/publications/bible/nwt/books/ecclesiastes/7/#v21007001
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. This was beautiful and set to the perfect song. Thank you.
It was a beautiful tribute. Thank you for posting it. Sad and haunting, but in a positive way. My thoughts are with her family.
The Old Wolf recently posted..Le Robinson Resort from the air.
Beautiful and sad at the same time. Made me stop and think. Thanks.
So why does this article say that you never started following “Amanda” until it was too late? According to the tweets you were talking with her as far back as 11/4/10. Supposedly she died in April 2013. Something sounds fishy to me here. Maybe some elaborate hoax by a blogger trying for their 15 minutes of fame? Or maybe a young girl really did die and some blogger was so invested in herself that she didn’t notice until nine months later. Maybe you should cut down on some of those “twitter friends” that you use to shamelessly promote yourself? Just a thought. Regardless of what it may really be, the above story just doesn’t sound right.
Beautiful. Powerful. Resonates incredibly. I sincerely hope this isn’t a hoax.
Amanda may you RIP.
A reminder that we should live a full life!
Sam recently posted..Shaqtin’ A Fool Vol 3 Episode 9
Remember. Remember at Amanda. Remembar at of all the people they never should have leave us. Thank you for the wonderful thoughs that you sharing you with me. The most importent people are still attended us. In our thoughs in our doings. Thanks
I couldn’t stop my tears after watching this video. This is just so sad. And her final tweet really made me cry, so much!
I would really like to know more about her. Please keep us updated!
Thank you so much for sharing this!
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