Or, what this largely wordless conversation would actually sound like if a toddler had roughly the speech skills of a 28-year-old slightly embittered university graduate.
Me: Open your mouth! Mama has to get the sugarbugs with the toothbrush!
Her: Sugarbugs. [Level stare. Mouth stays closed.]
Me: Open up! Let Mama in!
Her: Woman, you’ve sunk to new lows. Your ploys will not work on me.
Me: Come on, Bubbalub! Mama has to brush your teeth! Open up! Look, I see a sugarbug!
Her: No. [Turns away, starts climbing off stool and heading for garbage can]
Me: Look, see, Mama can brush her teeth! [insert overdramatic overdramatization of tooth brushing motions with toddler toothbrush while not actually touching teeth with toddler toothbrush.] Now we can brush Avery’s teeth! Open up!
Her: Hey, what’s in the bathtub? Is that that rad bubble bath bottle that spills everywhere? AWESOME. Let me at it.
Me: No no, we have to finish brushing Avery’s teeth! See? Teeth! [Grabbing of toddler, more overdramatization of tooth brushing]
Her: Look. You’re embarrassing yourself. Stop.
Me: Come on! Brush Brush Brush!
Her: Hey - look! The potty! I’ll sit on it and pretend to pee even though I totally refuse to pee in it when you want me to!
Me: Can you open up so Mama can brush your teeth?
Her: Are you still on that?
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In other words: Help?
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
give her the toothbrush to hold while you brush your teeth (using proper techniques, of course), then brush her teeth.
At least, that’s what works here
ok, had to laugh at the ‘stop, you’re embarrassing yourself’ line because really - how many times must they think that?
Agree with Nicole - give her the brush so she can do it either while your doing it, or by taking turns. That works for us because my kids had to ‘dood it’ themselves
Rebecca recently posted..Being a Kid again
This is about the funniest thing I’ve read, srsly. heh.
What works for my daughter (right now anyway… she’s 19 months) is to let her watch in the mirror as I brush her teeth. It’s totally mesmerizing for her. This one is starting to lose its luster though, so I’m looking for new ideas too. I also use the no-fluoride toddler toothpaste, so sometimes just the promise of tasting it is good enough, although I caution you this one is a slippery slope.
After struggling with V for quite a while I asked my dentist and he suggested sitting on the toilet with V facing away from me, then have her lie back on my knees. It’s weird and interesting for her so she sticks around, and she opens her mouth wider so I can see what I’m brushing. Works for flossing too.
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