Mama-Toddler Interactions Translated In To English

by zchamu on March 30, 2011

Or, what this largely wordless conversation would actually sound like if a toddler had roughly the speech skills of a 28-year-old slightly embittered university graduate.

Me: Open your mouth! Mama has to get the sugarbugs with the toothbrush!

Her: Sugarbugs. [Level stare. Mouth stays closed.]

Me: Open up! Let Mama in!

Her: Woman, you’ve sunk to new lows. Your ploys will not work on me.

Me: Come on, Bubbalub! Mama has to brush your teeth! Open up! Look, I see a sugarbug!

Her: No. [Turns away, starts climbing off stool and heading for garbage can]

Me: Look, see, Mama can brush her teeth! [insert overdramatic overdramatization of tooth brushing motions with toddler toothbrush while not actually touching teeth with toddler toothbrush.] Now we can brush Avery’s teeth! Open up!

Her: Hey, what’s in the bathtub? Is that that rad bubble bath bottle that spills everywhere? AWESOME. Let me at it.

Me: No no, we have to finish brushing Avery’s teeth! See? Teeth! [Grabbing of toddler, more overdramatization of tooth brushing]

Her: Look. You’re embarrassing yourself. Stop.

Me:  Come on! Brush Brush Brush!

Her: Hey – look! The potty! I’ll sit on it and pretend to pee even though I totally refuse to pee in it when you want me to!

Me: Can you open up so Mama can brush your teeth?

Her: Are you still on that?

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In other words: Help?

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{ 5 comments }

nicole April 1, 2011 at 5:43 am

give her the toothbrush to hold while you brush your teeth (using proper techniques, of course), then brush her teeth.

At least, that’s what works here :)

Rebecca April 3, 2011 at 11:54 am

ok, had to laugh at the ‘stop, you’re embarrassing yourself’ line because really – how many times must they think that?

Agree with Nicole – give her the brush so she can do it either while your doing it, or by taking turns. That works for us because my kids had to ‘dood it’ themselves ;)
Rebecca recently posted..Being a Kid again

molly April 6, 2011 at 12:49 am

This is about the funniest thing I’ve read, srsly. heh.

tobasco April 7, 2011 at 8:40 pm

What works for my daughter (right now anyway… she’s 19 months) is to let her watch in the mirror as I brush her teeth. It’s totally mesmerizing for her. This one is starting to lose its luster though, so I’m looking for new ideas too. I also use the no-fluoride toddler toothpaste, so sometimes just the promise of tasting it is good enough, although I caution you this one is a slippery slope.

Neeroc April 9, 2011 at 1:47 am

After struggling with V for quite a while I asked my dentist and he suggested sitting on the toilet with V facing away from me, then have her lie back on my knees. It’s weird and interesting for her so she sticks around, and she opens her mouth wider so I can see what I’m brushing. Works for flossing too.
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