My Nemesis.
I am pretty sure I’m doing this potty training thing wrong.
I mean, I think I know “how” to do it “right”, or at least “right” by various wise people’s definitions. When one has a toddler who does not know that feces go in to the toilet instead of in their trousers, one must show said toddler the light. Take them to the bathroom frequently. Teach them to sit on the potty as they vacate their interior waste. Once complete, teach them to gather appropriate amounts of toilet tissue with which to wipe their butts. Polish said butts to gleaming, then replace pants. Provide positive reinforcement in the form of praise and rewards. Rinse (literally), repeat until they clue in and this is all second nature to them. Tah-daaah! Functional child! Go write your MCAT now, you little genius!
Except I can’t seem to do it. My part, anyway. I cannot just bite the bullet and pitch the diapers and just DO THIS. This is my first real parenting mountain that I’m having trouble climbing, as it were. Potty training is scaring the crap out of me.
Everything else about parenting has seemed (and please don’t shoot me for saying this) easier than I expected. Perhaps because I expected it to be really astronomically difficult. Not her; she is awesome and cool and amazing. But I expected parenting, the work of dealing with a small human who cannot care for themselves and cannot be reasoned with, to be really, really hard. I thought the sleepless nights would be just evilly torturous; expected dealing with poopy diapers to be gag-inducing; dreaded the crying jags and puking and tantrums and whatever else. Basically, when you look at it, I figured I would end up a quivering mass of jello on the floor more often than not. (Which begs the question why I had a kid if I thought it was going to put me in the mental hospital, but we’ll leave that obvious fail of logic for another time.)
Yet for the most part, I’ve been pleasantly surprised by how I’ve managed to keep it together during this parenting schtick. While exhaustion sucks, I lived through it. While poopy diapers are not my favourite things to deal with, I’ve learned to hold my breath and get fast with the diaper genie wielding foot. In other words, I’m getting through this better than I thought I would. I am not a perfect parent by any means, but so far nothing has knocked me on my ass..
…Until now. Potty Training. I fear it may kill me dead.
I mean… what’s wrong with diapers? She can pee whenever she wants in a diaper. I don’t have to drop everything and drag her to the bathroom if she just craps her pants. Right?
Oh, god. I think that’s it. It’s ME. I’m just too damn lazy to potty train. I don’t want to remember to run to the toilet every 20 minutes. I don’t want to stop in the middle of road trips. I don’t want to deal with putting toilet paper on frightening, smelly public toilets. Frankly, I think I’d wear a diaper too if I could. But that is not what we call Socially Acceptable.
I think this may be my parenting Alamo. (Or my war of 1812, or whatever Canadian analogy works.)
But all this handwringing isn’t helping anyone. The upshot of all this is, my kid is pushing 3 and isn’t reliably potty trained, because I’m a lazy jackass. I’m delaying making the break from diapers in to big girl pants which, I think, would let her clue in far more quickly and get this thing done. And I’m not doing it because I don’t want to.
Which I think kind of makes me a parental asshole. Oh, god.
Tell me: Did you feel the same way? How did you force yourself to bite the potty training bullet? Am I fretting over nothing and will potty training make me sing hallelujiah? HELP ME, PEOPLE. Before I send an 18 year old to university in princess pull-ups.
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
My sitter potty trained my first, and he took to it like gangbusters. So DH and I were grudgingly carried along on that experience. I find summer potty training to be easiest which actually leaves you off the hook. You can say that last summer she was too young to train and you are waiting for spring (which is soon but not here yet!) to start. I like the idea of the child being super comfortable with the potty before the cold hits and we are faced with snow suits and winter boots. In conclusion, if you use my spring/summer training logic you are good to go!
Chantal recently posted..A place to start
I sat my daughter on the edge of the toilet since she was 6 months and haven’t dealt with poopy diapers at all. I could tell from her body language when she had to go and I would take her anywhere (shopping mall, restaurant, etc.). I worried they wouldn’t toilet her when she started montessori at 13 months but I brought a potty and they used it. I would toilet her when I would toilet by asking who was going first.. and “can you hear it.” You can sit her backwards on seats to avoid the icky parts of public toilets. She started to tell me “I need go tinkle” driving home from a museum of nature at 2 years old and held it through traffic til we got home. At 2.5 years she delighted in elmo underwear and has only had one accident when Dad didn’t listen for a tinkle over christmas excitement. It doesn’t really doesn’t matter, she’ll be toilet trained when you’re both ready, just enjoy her and don’t fret.
We are in that kind of sort of potty training stage. She sometimes asks to go - usually when she’s trying to delay bedtime. She often tells us that she’s peeing, but instead of just taking her to the potty, I ask and she says no. I bought her underwear - she wears it over her diaper.
Amy recently posted..March Madness
What drove me to toilet train was my Severe Hatred of Our Diaper Bag. The thing was ghastly; twelve years old, a gift from my MIL bought at Toys R Us. (In my defence there were no other cool alternatives at that time.) I loathed that thing. It was the albatross around my neck. So we did the little underwear and ran the girls to the toilet when they needed to go. I hated being tied down to diapers so much that I sought freedom from them as soon as I could.
The other reason: preschool. They only want toilet trained kids, so if I wanted ‘em in preschool I had to bite the bullet and get it done.
andrea from the fishbowl recently posted..A fun and easy bubble tea recipe
I could have written this post 2 months ago! Now, I don’t even think about the potty, and am amazed at how easy it was. Because…and I swear, I do not know this person and am not affiliated with her in ANY way, but in my desperation, I happened upon a website and bought an e-book that got me and my son through the process seamlessly. If you want to check it out, go to http://www.ohcrappottytraining.com
Jamie, the author is amazing. She was like coach, therapist, cheerleader all wrapped into one. With the book, you get access to her forum where she directly responds to your questions and advises you accordingly. Priceless, I believe. And even though we started late (just after my boy’s 3rd birthday), she got me through.
Best of luck!